Thursday, 22 October 2015

On Turning 20

*graciously pulls out party poppers* hey! I turned 20!

I finally met and passed my second decade of existence on this wonderful earth last Friday, but it isn't until now that the whole thing is really setting in. I thought putting pen to paper (word to keyboard?) would be the best way to share how "different" it feels, and actually yes, it does feel different.

It feels like I've almost closed a chapter on a part of my life. Those days where I was in class from 9-3, seeing my friends on a daily basis at school, worrying about homework (though the last part is still very much true!). I know what you're thinking, "why didn't you feel this way at 19, Zahra?" and to be honest, I can't really give an answer to that, I just didn't.

I think the prospect of entering the realm of an adult has made me see things slightly differently. I know I'm still young and free, but I always have in the back of my mind those "adult things" that you worry about. What career path will I take when it finally comes to it? What will like be like when I finish education? When will I actually feel adult-ish?

Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. Who knows, but I do know that as I enter into this new territory, that I shouldn't allow myself to think that I have to follow a particular path, or know what I want (like so many of my law student classmates so adamantly verbalise). I don't think I've ever actually said this in literal words, but I don't think I know what I want. I want to work in human rights, but I want to be a blogger and write for a living. I want to be a hermit and publish book after book, I want to buy a camera & start a YouTube channel.

It's a time to make mistakes, to not know what lies beyond, to decide that it's okay not to see your best friends everyday, because when you get the chance to see them you'll really appreciate it.

It's a time to be grateful for my health and the fact that I have these options, and two supportive parents who I know will be behind me every step of the way.

It's a time to just enjoy being 20, and not have an existential crisis.

Zahra D x

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